![]() In other situations, couples are seeking either a brief consultation on a particular problem, or feedback on how they’re doing with communication or other dynamics. What do we really know about our clients when we first meet them and hear their presenting issues? Do we have insight into the milieu of their lives and the complex circumstances that led them to seek professional help? When couples present for therapy, therapists often assume that both partners want to actively work on their relationship, when in reality one or both may have a foot out the door and are looking for validation so they can say, “We tried.” Clarifying the couple’s goals for therapy The couple doesn’t return for their next session. Although Idina continues to encourage active listening, the discussion quickly escalates into crying and shouting. Ben and Keisha, married eight years, present at their first therapy session saying, “We can’t communicate anymore!” Idina, the therapist, begins to work on “I-messages” and Ben rolls his eyes and interrupts while Keisha is talking and she turns away, displaying contempt at his comments. ![]()
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